am a man who has been married to my wife for 32 years. I told her I loved her five days after I met her. She was also my first sexual experience. I was 23 and she was 18. We both said it was a love-at-first-sight thing, and I’ll still agree to that today. But now it’s 32 years later. We have two grown daughters, one who has given us two grandchildren, and another who married and left her husband a little over a year into their marriage. I am like others I’ve read here. I am no longer in love with my wife, although I do care for her a lot. I have never cheated on her, but I picture myself in a single-life situation with the ability to date all the time. I will say that two years ago I did meet a woman I work with, and we hit it off immediately. We have traveled together with our job, and even spent a week together in Wyoming, although nothing happened. To this day, we talk on a daily basis, sometimes for hours. She knows about my family, and I know and have met her family. She has two teenage boys and a teenage girl, and I do believe they like me. I have been to her house on several occasions just to talk or watch a movie, and have even had a few meals with her. I guess my point being that what I have with her is what I had with my wife when we met, but in my eyes aren’t even close to having anymore. There is a 20-year age difference between my friend and I, but it doesn’t seem to bother either of us. We have told each other that we are each other’s best friends, and told each other that we love each other and could never see that changing. My wife is aware of her existence, since we do work together occasionally. We would sometimes be on the phone together when my family was all in the house, but not on purpose, that’s just the way it worked out. My wife finally confronted me about it, saying it bothered her and that I seemed happier talking with my friend than I did with her, which is pretty much accurate. At the end of the day, I can’t see myself spending the rest of my life with my wife or without her. And more and more, I see my life with my female friend and her family. There is nothing set in stone, and we have never talked about that aspect because I am married. But I think if I were to divorce my wife, it could happen. I believe the one thing that has stopped me from leaving is the turmoil it would create with my children and grandchildren, but I have to do something for me, not anybody else. This thought process consumes my life daily. I’m tired of being smothered by my wife trying to prove she loves me, and if I don’t do something about it soon, I will lose the opportunity to live the rest of my days in happiness. If it seems like I’ve rambled on, I’m sorry. It’s the frustration of what I am facing. —Ready to Go
Thank you for reaching out and asking these important questions. I appreciate how hard it is to ask for help and I’m really glad you did. I am going to share my thoughts on your situation as candidly as possible.
